Are you tired, frazzled, wishing you had more time, more talent, more hours for yourself?
When you implement self-care in your life, you do away with the superficial nonsense that drowns you, and you can then come up for air.
Except that it’s so easy to lose positive habits, between work, family, world crisis, deadlines, tight schedules, chores, the dog, the neighbor, the zoom call, the technician, and all other elements that make up a day.
So make it simple for yourself and choose only a few actions to work on at a time.
To Implement Self-Care, Don’t Compare.
The comparison game will always make you feel inadequate. This huge hurdle applies to most of us. We all compare at some point and to various degrees.
You are unique, and you know it. Your DNA proves it, yet when you compare, you get severe memory loss and forget yourself.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Implementing self-care when opportunities for comparison are all over the place is quite the challenge.
When scrolling social media, you compare your reality to their curated feed.
At work, you compare yourself to those who have the ultimate job, or in school, you compare that girl over there with excellent grades and the cool dress.
Whatever the situation, if you compare yourself — be aware of the negative consequences and get off that insidious track asap.
If you genuinely want to implement self-care in your life, start with this biggie.
No comparing.
One exception: Comparing yourself today to yourself yesterday and recording those positive changes.
Say No.
Say yes to self-care and learn to say no to everything that goes against your will.
Say no to those who always ask things of you and expect you to say yes.
Just because you always say yes.
Do you always say yes because you want to be friendly? Or because if they insist long enough, well, you give in?
Say no to the way others want you to behave for their own interests.
Say no if you people-please because you’re afraid of what people may think.
At first, it probably seems impossible to say no after years of saying yes, right?
Maybe you feel it’s almost cruel and, of course, scary.
What will they think of me? How will I justify my no? Will they still like me if I say no? Will they get angry?
Guess what? You don’t have to defend yourself at all.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
You have every right to say no. You decide what’s good for you. And saying yes when what you really want to say is no — is never good.
So learn to say no. Kindly, firmly, with intention.
Practice in the mirror if needed.
Repeat a script if it helps.
Have some answers ready if you think you’ll panic.
This works for personal or business purposes. You could even make a No Template, as John Spector suggests.
But in the end, do find a way to say no when it’s right for you.
And be proud you did.
Focus On You.
It’s never a positive thing to focus on others for your well being. Implementing self-care is just that. You take care of yourself.
Someone else doesn’t do it for you.
It’s great that others in your life know you well, that they are there for you in time of need, that you’re able to confide in them and consider them to be your pillar or rock.
But guess what?
You need to be all those things to yourself first to nurture any healthy relationship with others.
So to implement self-care in your life, get to know yourself.
I don’t mean if you prefer the beach or the mountains. I mean, what makes you tick, what exhilarates you, what’s brings a smile to your face? What keeps you up at night and what makes your heart race?
Spend time with you and try to understand what you’re about. Yes, you you you. It’s not self-centered. It’s your personal challenge to get to know you.
What are you feeling? Who are the people in your life that bring you positivity?
How do you deal with the unknown? What would you like to change? Are you satisfied with where you are today?
It takes time to answer all these questions honestly. So implement self-care changes and make it a priority to learn about you.
For now, to implement self-care in your day, start working on these 3 self-care habits.
Say no to others, don’t compare yourself, and learn to focus on who you are.
You may find it hard to implement self-care in your life, but it helps you focus on what’s important and keeps emotions in check with a little practice.
Choose one at a time to take better care of yourself and move forward.
