There’s no doubt there are different ways to deal with criticism. But most people don’t do so well. Criticism can bruise your self-esteem and put you in a bad mood within minutes.
However, if you’re able to recognize your own reactions when faced with criticism, then you’ve done the first step toward change.
Arm yourself with the necessary tools and deal with criticism intelligently.
Use a Fan
Keep your cool when you deal with criticism. It’s crucial.
How many times do you let the same type of people just push your buttons?
You don’t normally react this way, but when these people show up in your face and words that rub you the wrong way, well.. off it goes. Right?
Buttons pushed, less than glorious words fly around with the sole purpose of hitting hard where it hurts.
Such retaliation is a huge warning sign that you can’t deal with what’s going on.
You may put the blame on the other person – but the truth is you just can’t deal with your emotions and reactions.
Time to start putting it all into perspective. Doesn’t matter if the other person is right or wrong. What counts is your reaction.
Keep your cool when you deal with criticism. Actually, keep your cool in all circumstances. The first step is to avoid retaliating, answering without thinking, and jumping on a high horse because you feel hurt.
Wash Out Your Ears
People can sometimes convey a message in the most awkward ways. One of them is through criticism.
Maybe they have zero tact or can’t deal with the situation anymore and lash out.
So first, be honest with yourself and determine if what this person is saying can help you improve something in some way.
It may surprise you that others may see you in a different light than you see yourself.
So try and turn the criticism into positive by acknowledging what others are thinking, especially if this “criticism” keeps coming back up…
Keep an open mind and if you can stay calm, then by all means try to start a conversation by asking questions about what they mean.
Decide if You Need protection
When you deal with criticism, understand that not all criticism is negative.
If the person loves you, then there is no need for protection. However clumsy or tactless, they are trying to get a message across because they care and may see things that you don’t.
On the other hand, if it’s a toxic love, or someone trying to manipulate you under the large umbrella of love, then you must protect yourself.
You can do this in many ways. The first action should be to walk away in order to think clearly about what’s best for you in the long run.
The center of attention
I have big news.
When someone criticizes you, it may actually have nothing to do with you – but with them.
The world is filled with hurt humans. They feel pain and anger and in turn, may lash out in reaction to their own feelings.
Most of us do not deal with criticism well.
And you happen to be their target. Not because you’re you, but because you’re there.
If you’re caught in a crossfire, try to understand that the source of their criticism is really their own undealt problems.
Knowing you’re not the center of their attention, makes it easier to deal with criticism.
Put your pride in your pocket
When you deal with criticism, you should never accept insults or negativity from others.
Assuming that the person criticizing is a person you trust and love, then their message will be one of love.
In this case, make the decision to put aside your pride and really think about their message.
Listen to what the person is saying. Let them go through their thoughts – or rants. Be silent and try to assess what is true and what is not.
Only then gather your thoughts, arguments, and cool.
Now try to talk about it, attempt to have a conversation versus a showdown.
Take a snapshot when you deal with criticism
If the way you deal with criticism is to just stand there and nod politely, then try some active reflection.
Take a step back, and decide if what the person is saying is negative or positive.
Assess where they’re coming from and take the time to understand why they’re telling you these things.
Is it because they care and they see things you can’t?
Is it out of jealousy and so they lash out trying to bring you down?
Is it because you’ve done something specific they didn’t appreciate?
Figure it out.
Show Gratitude to those who Offer Constructive Criticism
It’s not always easy to accept constructive criticism. Especially if you’re super sensitive or have low self-esteem.
But people who genuinely care about you will tell you things help you change and if you deal with criticism well, then you can better achieve certain things.
Remember, even if it’s hard, thank every person who offers you meaningful feedback.
Although it may hurt to know what you did wrong, understand their motives, and express gratitude.
Let them Know that You can’t Listen now
Don’t feel guilty about withdrawing from a conversation if you have trouble listening to the person in front of you.
Do let the person know that you appreciate the discussion, but not at this very moment.
Then go ahead and suggest an appropriate time to continue with the conversation.
This step will allow them to reconsider their criticism and both of you will better understand how to make the conversation more meaningful.
Allow Your Feelings to show
You may get hurt or angry, but burying your feeling is never helpful. Therefore, speak your mind and heart, or write down your feelings to release them from your heart.
Try to remember these points when you’re trying to express yourself or when you deal with criticism.
- Accept yourself and protect yourself from negativity.
- Don’t compare yourself. Be who you are and be proud.
- Recognize your qualities and your self-worth.
Learning how to deal with criticism can be quite a long process. But one little step forward, one small action plus another small action will get you there.
It takes patience and self-awareness. It takes work.
But yes it’s worth it if you want to free yourself of your own reactions and stand on your own.
…
